Q1. How long can I live with my girlfriend/boyfriend before she/he can claim on my house?
There is no specified time. The financial contribution made by the non-owning person largely controls the chance of a successful claim against the owner. Unmarried couples use different law from married couples; this law has more in common with companies owning an office block. Discuss with us the details of exactly what has happened, so we can give a more detailed opinion.

Q2. What is a "common law wife"?
There is no such thing nowadays. The idea was abolished many years ago, but the newspapers have failed to keep up! People are either married or not married. There is no halfway step. No amount of cohabitation makes any difference. The Law Commission is considering changing the law for long-term cohabitation relationships, but no plans are afoot at present.

Q3.What is Collaborative Family Practice?
Collaboration is an amicable, client-centred process by which the two parties and their respective individual, collaboratively-trained Solicitors, bind themselves together under a Participation Agreement to work towards a dignified, holistic, balanced settlement of all issues arising from the relationship breakdown, without going to court. The timescale is under the control of the parties and the work is carried out in face-to-face "four-way meetings".  Only when issues are agreed will, for example, undefended divorce proceedings be issued, and agreed Court Orders sought, to make the settlements binding.  Unfortunately, Public Funding (Legal Aid) is not available for this way of working.  You can learn more about this from www.collabfamilylaw.co.uk and www.resolution.org.uk

Q6. What difference does it make to a dispute over children, whether we are married or not?
In practice, very little, especially if the children's mother agrees that the father is to have Joint Parental Responsibility, with her, or the father is shown on the child's birth certificate for a baby born since 14th December 2003. The concerned unmarried father needs to discuss with us how to obtain Joint Parental Responsibility and how to negotiate any other disputes with the mother, for example Residence and Contact.

Q7. The Courts are prejudiced against men when it comes to their children, aren't they?
The law is entirely non-sexist or gender biased. However, society has come to be structured so that in many families the father works and contributes financially, whereas the mother supports the family by giving up paid work and looking after the children, at least for a time. The principle of children law is that the welfare of the children is paramount, and both parents are to consider what is in the best interest of the children, rather than for themselves. It is with that in mind that all other things being equal, it is not common for the housewife mother who has been satisfactorily caring for the children to find that Residence of the children is vested in the working father, unless she consents.

Q8. My husband/wife says that he/she can sell our house and force me out.
If the house is in joint names (check at the Land Registry), your spouse cannot legally proceed to sell the property unless you sign the sale contract documents. Our advice is always to sign nothing without speaking to us first. You clearly need advice from us on the general state of your marriage. The house issue is just one symptom.

Q9. My husband/wife says that they can sell our home as it is in their sole name?
You need to register your rights of occupation as a spouse at the Land Registry, quickly. That will frighten off any legitimate purchaser or moneylender, from dealing with the house with you resident in it. Do not allow there to be a divorce without seeing us, as your rights lapse on Decree Absolute. Clearly this is a symptom of a bigger problem, which needs to be resolved sooner rather than later.

Q10. My husband is likely to go bankrupt soon; what will happen to me and the children?
This is too complex to explain here; you need to see us to discuss your individual circumstances. Generally however, insolvency law considers the bankrupt person and the family as one side of the dispute and the creditors as the other side. If there is also a dispute between the husband and the wife, there is a conflict of laws between matrimonial and insolvency law. Much will turn on exactly when the bankruptcy occurs, and/or whether it can be staved off by a negotiated settlement with the creditors. An established property, jointly owned by a bankrupt husband and his wife, would on bankruptcy be converted into a property owned jointly by the husband's Trustee in Bankruptcy (on behalf of the creditors), and the wife. Eventually the creditors will press for a sale of the property. If you are in this situation, whether you are the potential bankrupt or the spouse, you must seek advice as quickly as possible in order to maximise the time for any negotiations.

Q11. My wife is a Director and Company Secretary, and also a shareholder of my limited company. She will not sign papers for my long planned voluntary liquidation. What should I do?
You need to work jointly with a company law specialist for advice on the holding of a special company meeting to replace your wife as Company Secretary, and to overturn her interest as a minority shareholder. Then you can go ahead. However, you may find that your wife's solicitors will oppose your actions in family proceedings, to prevent you having access to the resulting money, until her claims are met within divorce/money proceedings. It would make sense to instruct us to deal with the matrimonial dispute first, then the company problems will fall into place in those negotiations.

Q12. My wife is a partner in my Builders business, but she has no idea what goes on. We are in debt, and one of the trade creditors is going to sue us. Can I get her to agree to a new loan on our house to pay off the creditor?
The conflict between Partnership Law and Family Law can create real problems for families where both spouses are "held out" to the outside world as trading as partners together. Practically every family asset is available to a creditor to claim against, once they have obtained Judgment for a business debt. The moral for the uninvolved spouse is do not allow your name to be used in any business context, unless you are going to be actively involved in the day to day running of the business and you accept and perform your legal duties and responsibilities as a Partner. If you do allow your name to be used, you still risk being liable for the actions of the partners and the liabilities of the partnership business, even though you knew nothing of what was happening. You should ask us for detailed advice before agreeing to anything. Do not delay, or else there will be no time to negotiate a better outcome.

Q13. My situation is complicated, and I want to continue instructing my present accountant/conveyancing solicitor/investment manager. How will that affect your advice?
We are happy to work with your existing advisors in "our team". If we feel that you will benefit from the additional experience and training of a Barrister or other expert, then we will recommend and discuss with you who we feel would be appropriate to assist you. With regard to all outside experts, we will assist you to negotiate fees and keep you informed at regular intervals of both our own and the other "team members'" fees.

Q14. My husband has left me; what can I do?
We can help you with the following options:-

• Do nothing - a physical separation can allow the atmosphere to calm down, but it is no way to resolve the outstanding issues;

• Try to negotiate - for example towards a Deed of Separation. This is a contract providing some ground rules, but it is only useful if you can reach 100% agreement and you can negotiate together and neither of you want to marry again;

• Try to reconcile - this would be to patch up the relationship for example through Relate, through counsellors, through your priest, or your family and friends. We can help with referrals to reconciliation agencies, who will help both married and unmarried couples;

• Try mediation - where you accept the relationship is over. This would be to see if you can resolve your children/money/property problems between yourselves with the assistance of a Mediator to help facilitate discussions with your spouse/cohabitee/civil partner.

• Try Collaborative Family Law-you accept that the relationship is over, but you feel that you need your solicitor present at meetings with your spouse, to give you ongoing legal advice and moral support. You do not want the court to force a settlement upon you both, while recognising that a settlement is not binding until the court has approved it.

• Involve the County Court, or in some cases the Family Proceedings Court:-

to finalize the marriage by divorce or to dissolve the Civil Partnership and allow the parties to form  new legal relationships;

to resolve disputed family problems without a divorce, through Judicial Separation;

to discuss, conclude and make binding, an agreement reached by negotiation in relation to children or money, pensions and property;

where negotiations cannot yet take place because of lack of information and evidence (disclosure);

where negotiations are made difficult because of violence, strong emotions, or an imbalance of power between you, or there are difficult legal elements such as the effects of foreign law, the interface with other English laws for example insolvency or company and business law, Trusts of Land, Inheritance Act claims etc, or pension and other more complex investments.

Q15. I have seen on the internet that Desktop Lawyer will do my divorce for £59.99. Why should I pay you?
Desktop Lawyer will provide you with a pack of forms for £59.99. You still pay the court fees of at least £340.00. Free of charge, you can get the forms and some guidance notes from your local County Court, or from a new government website at :- www.courtservice.gov.uk What you are paying us for is not the provision of blank forms, but resolving a life time relationship and all the property and children issues that go with it. You are paying for advice about the complex interactions of various areas of law, which already affect your relationship and your property and money, often without you knowing it. You are also paying us for advice on strategy, and to some extent for our experience of human nature, as well as a proficiency with Court forms, and a great deal of recently changed Court procedure.

We can also help you to handle unpleasant negotiations with someone you were once close to, without becoming overly emotional or distressed.

It is true that you can conduct all of this yourself, if you wish to, just as you can buy a house yourself. However, in view of the pitfalls, even as a solicitor herself, and despite having had some training in the basic principles of how to do it, Madeleine does not undertake conveyancing, without using a specialist solicitor. In theory, it is possible to take out your own appendix - but is it wise?!! As they say "there is no such thing as a free lunch": one gets what one pays for in this life.

Whilst procedural problems caused by people acting alone can often be resolved later, a failure to understand the law or procedure, can affect your legal rights, and you may not be able to recover those rights at a later date.

Clearly the decision is yours. We will do the best we can for any client who instructs us, within our fields of competence.

Madeleine Townsend & Co
21 Mount Ephraim, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN4 8AE
Tel: 01892 515284 Fax: 01892 538204
DX 3967 Tunbridge Wells 1
e-mail: madeleine@divorcelaw.co.uk